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  • Writer's pictureEMILY Losno

Am I acting out of Fear ? or out of Love?

Fear is my biggest barrier on this self-employed journey. Mainly fear of failure, but also fear of what others think of me.

It took me a while to gain the courage and confidence to host events and retreats. I started teaching regularly in 2018 but it was only in 2021 that I started sharing other offerings.

Since 2021, I have hosted 8 retreats and a number of events, which I am extremely proud of.

But I have also had to cancel some of them because of too few sign ups. With time, I have learnt not to take these "failures" as personal, and instead to accept that failing is a natural result of taking more risks in my career, and I am willing to fail sometimes if that means learning and growing.

The market for yoga offerings is saturated with events and retreats, and competition is higher than ever. I often find myself as a small, and fairly new business-owner competing against yoga studios, who have a whole team behind them helping with marketing and promotion, and who have a much bigger reach than me. My excitement and passion for sharing more yoga can easily get damped by my insecurities.

Sometimes, I can get so discouraged and so overwhelmed that I am resistant to share more. Sometimes, I feel like giving up.

I know those fears are a protection, if I don´t take risks there won´t be failures, so I am keeping myself away from disappointment. But also, if I don´t take risks, there won´t be growth, and I might lose an opportunity for success and more joy.

There are three questions I practice asking myself when I feel scared and hesitant about an offering:

what am I afraid of ?

what is the worst thing that can happen ?

what is the best thing that can happen ?

Just two months ago I removed my ´Dive Deep, 7-days retreat´ from my website for a period of time, because I was too afraid that no one would want to join. I know it is counterintuitive to do that ( :-D ) but I panicked. It is the retreat I am most excited about for 2024, because it is a new concept I really would love to share, but I am afraid that it won´t reach the minimum participants for it to happen. Now the retreat is back on my website and open for bookings again. I am taking the risk and I have to go whole-heartedly in, because if I want it to happen I need to believe in it and trust. Although the risk of failure is always there.

It has also been extremely valuable for me to open up with others and share my concerns. Talking about fear has helped me get more clear about what I am actually afraid of, and why I should not let myself drown in worries.

So, here is what we should ask ourselves:

Am I acting out of Fear ? or out of Love ?

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